Week one, we survived

It's Friday and that means I have survived my first week back in the office and away from my sweet Baby Lou.
Since we had a couple of trial runs with the daycare last week, leaving Caroline on Monday morning was not as tough as I thought it was going to be. I made a point not to linger too long. After a quick chat with her daycare provider, I gave C a quick squeeze, a little smooch, and headed on my way. I figured a short and sweet goodbye was less likely to produce tears than a long drawn out one.

The most challenging part of this week has been getting the pumping at work thing down. Fortunately, I have a private office so I can close my door and get the job done. With one quick spin, I've mastered the transition from fully clothed upper body to hands-free pumping at my keyboard. It really should be considered an art form.

The kitchen, though, is on the other side of the office suite.

I've felt mildly embarrassed carrying my pumping supplies to the kitchen to wash them each time. And then a little more embarrassed when a coworker comes in while I'm in the middle of washing all of my parts. These? Oh, yes, these are the flanges that go on my boobs to I can express milk. I can't help but think that the minute someone sees these parts they immediately think of my boobs. That weirds me out.

Breastfeeding is such a natural and wonderful, thing, though, and I don't want to feel weird about pumping at work and what my coworkers may think. This article gave me a little boost today (along with support from my good friend, Ellie). Next week I'm going into this whole pumping thing fearless (or at least a little less fearful).

The Milk Truck, what an idea.

Happy Friday!

photo by my sweet and talented friend, Justine

Babies laughing

This laughing babies video never gets old. It's the perfect pick-me-up.

Caroline has laughed out loud a handful of times already. It's the sweetest sound.

Baby sandals

Oh. My. Goodness. Don't you just love these Salt-Water sandals for baby? I can't wait until Caroline is walking and can wear these next summer.

And, obviously I would never spend this much on a baby dress, but how cute is this!

Back to work

Today is my first day back to work in the office after maternity leave with Caroline. I'm happy to report that I'm surviving and am doing OK.

Last week I worked from home on Thursday and Friday and did trial runs with her daycare. I think that helped with my transition. I got most of my tears out on Thursday and managed to keep dry eyes today. This is the longest I have been away from my sweet Baby Lou, though, and as the afternoon creeps along I find myself ready for some time with my sweet little one.

I was just reading this quoted passage from Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions (via cup of jo):

"I have a friend named Anne, this woman I've known my entire life, who took her two-year-old up to Tahoe during the summer. They were staying in a rented condominium by the lake. And of course, it's such a hotbed of gambling that all the rooms are equipped with these curtains and shades that block out every speck of light so you can stay up all night in the casinos and then sleep all morning. One afternoon she put the baby to bed in his playpen in one of these rooms, in the pitch-dark, and went to do some work. A few minutes later, she heard her baby knocking on the door from inside the room, and she got up, knowing he'd crawled out of his playpen. She went to put him down again, but when she got to the door, she found he'd locked it. He had somehow managed to push in the little button on the doorknob. So he was calling to her, "Mommy, Mommy," and she was saying to him, "Jiggle the doorknob, darling," and of course he didn't speak much English—mostly he seemed to speak Urdu. After a moment, it became clear to him that his mouther couldn't open the door, and the panic set in. He began sobbing. So my friend ran around like crazy trying everything possible, like trying to get the front door key to work, calling the rental agency where she left a message on the machine, calling the manager of the condominium where she left another message, and running back to check in with her son every minute or so. And there he was in the dark, this terrified little child. Finally she did the only thing she could,, which was to slide her fingers underneath the door, where there was a one-inch space. She kept telling him over and over to bend down and find her fingers. Finally somehow he did. So they stayed like that for a really long time, on the floor, him holding onto her fingers in the dark. He stopped crying. She kept wanting to go call the fire department or something,but she felt that contact was the most important thing. She started saying, "Why don't you lie down, darling, and take a little nap on the floor?" and he was obviously like, "Yeah, right, Mom, that's a great idea, I'm feeling so nice and relaxed." So she kept saying, "Open the door now," and every so often he'd jiggle the knob, and eventually, after maybe half an hour, it popped open."

It brought tears to my eyes. I truly never knew how much my heart could possibly love before my sweet Baby Lou.

Baby Lou is two months old

My sweet Baby Lou turned two months old on Sunday. She's grown so much in the last month! She can already hold her head up on her own and she even supports her entire body weight on her little legs. She's so strong. She follows me and Bob all around the room with her eyes and a big grin. And, best of all, she is all smiles. Her little "aahh's" and "coo's" melt my heart and her smile just sends me soaring.

We are truly smitten with our baby girl. Caroline Lou, you are more than we could have ever dreamed.

Month one.

Pee in the face

Already I'm learning a lot about parenthood, the art of flexibility, and finding humor in it all. There are so many things that you really can't prepare yourself for. Your capacity to love, the intense changes your body will go through, getting baby pee in your eye...

The other day Bob and I were changing Caroline's diaper before bedtime. The dirty diaper was undone and Bob was cleaning her up before putting on the new one. I reached down to pull off her socks and at the exact moment that her sock sprung off her little foot she started to pee. The sock somehow hit the pee mid-stream and flung it directly into my eyes and my mouth. Stunned, I stood there for a moment, mouth agape, eyes blinking fast, baby pee all over my face.

Bob looked over at me not knowing what had happened. "Baby pee! My eyes, my mouth!" is what I think I said. We both laughed so hard it hurt. Caroline laid contentedly on her changing pad just watching, her expression something like "what are you two weirdos doing."

Baby pee in the face. There's no preparing for that.

Caroline Lou one month

We welcomed our sweet daughter, Caroline Lou, into the world on Valentine's Day. She turned one month old last week, which seemed impossibly fast.

Caroline is the sweetest thing I've ever known. It's not possible to comprehend how much love your heart has for your child. She is absolute perfection and I love her more than I could ever say. Bob and I are so blessed to be her parents. We're having so much fun getting to know her and making her smile (which she does ALL the time).

What an exciting adventure that has begun!